Nobody's Perfect
by bunniculasama
Summary: Heero and Quatre get into a fight, and Heero's left to dwell on what happened...


Nobody's Perfect  
  
Like I own it... (sob!) -- song lyrics --  
  
I hate you, Quatre Raberba Winner. I hate your kindness, I hate your smile, I hate the way your hair glints like the morning sun. I hate the way your eyes get bluer when you cry. I hate it when I'm the person to make you cry.  
  
-- I feel so sad.  
  
What I did wasn't right. --  
  
I hate the way you make me feel. Sure, I was never happy before, but I never felt pain either, not like this. I never felt this cold hand around my heart. Do you know how much it hurts to breathe right now? Do you have any idea?  
  
It doesn't matter though; it doesn't matter than you're crying. I know that Trowa will come, he'll kiss away your tears and heal your hurts in a way I never could. And then you'll smile for him, a beautiful smile through your tears. I wish that smile were for me, but no, I was the one to give you those tears.  
  
--I feel so bad.  
  
And I must say to you -  
  
Sorry, but...  
  
Nobody's perfect. --  
  
It's true, you know, no matter what Duo says. Nobody's perfect. If I were perfect, this wouldn't happen. It wouldn't hurt when I see you hug him, when you touch him, or even when you look at him with that ridiculous look in your eyes, the look I wish you'd give me. So instead I hurt you... I hurt you for hurting me.  
  
-- Nobody's perfect.  
  
What did you expect?  
  
I'm doing my best.--  
  
I try so hard to not feel it, to not care, but I can't. I know what you all think. I know that you all see me as cold, emotionless, but what would you do if you knew the truth? How would you react, Quatre, if you knew that your sunlight, your presence melted me, the block of ice? You gave me my heart, but all it brought me was pain.  
  
-- I feel so sad.--  
  
You're with Trowa now, and I'm alone once more. It's what I'm destined for, isn't it? I am sorry... I truly am. I wish that I had never hurt you, I wish I'd never made those tears fall, but its too late now, isn't it?  
  
Maybe I could lose myself again. Maybe I can put my heart back to sleep and drown out my life in this stupid war. If I let myself go again, I won't feel any more pain. I wouldn't cause you anymore pain. Things can go back to the way they were. I can go back to not knowing what it is to love. Wouldn't that be lying though? I'd have to ask Duo.  
  
-- But you know I'll be true --  
  
I don't think I can go back. Even my laptop can't hold my attention. Why did I have to yell at you? What was I even angry about? I can't remember. Truth to be told, I don't care, I just want to see you smile at me. I don't want to see you cry anymore. It hurts.  
  
-- I feel so bad.  
  
And I must say to you -  
  
Sorry, but  
  
Nobody's perfect.--  
  
I'm far from perfect. I'm a failure. Yeah, I do my job and I do it well, but I wasn't meant to fall in love. I wasn't meant to feel anything. I was designed to be a hollow shell that killed, no need for love, no need for remorse. No need for a soul. But then you found mine, didn't you? J hadn't removed it after all. I hadn't removed it. I failed.  
  
-- Nobody's perfect.--  
  
I didn't mean it when I said I hated you.  
  
-- I was dishonest.--  
  
The truth is, I think... I think I love you, Quatre. Everything about you, especially your kindess, your smile, and the color of your hair. I love your eyes too, but I could have lived my whole life not knowing that they can get that blue when you cry. I never wanted to see you cry... not really.  
  
- I will do my best.-  
  
I won't hurt you again, Quatre. Even when I feel that cold hand around my heart, even when my eyes sting and my lungs are burning, I'll never yell again. I'll never make you cry again, I promise.  
  
I'll be the Perfect Soldier that you all believe in. I'll keep my cool no matter how bad it gets. I just want you to be happy. I don't want you to know this pain. This I'll keep for you. I'll keep it far away where it won't touch you. I'll keep it in my own heart.  
  
- Yeah - 


End file.
